It can be a strange and exciting dance when teetering on the edge of where we are today and where we are going tomorrow. The winds of change feel dangerous, pushing us over the threshold, making it hard to not resist. As though that isn't enough, we often don't know what change looks like or what change will bring; a leap into the unknown, and even when we are discontent with where we are today, we may find ourselves grasping onto today's familiarity rather than allowing the wind carry us forward to whatever change awaits.
In these moments, I am grateful for the experiences and opportunities I have had to safely navigate big changes in my life; moving from Nebraska to Maine when I was 8 years old, being sent to boarding school with only a few days notice one month into my junior year of high school, riding my motorcycle from New York to LA when I made the move out west, and many more. There was a time when I felt so empowered by big change I began to seek it and, in turn, began to lose my relationship with the other end of the spectrum; commitment, grounding, persistence.
Nowadays I feel more centered. This comes with its own challenges, of course. When we commit to one end of the spectrum, we get comfortable with it. But there's a cost.
Those who are always seeking change feel comfortable with change, but miss out on the fruits of commitment. Those who are always seeking stability feel comfortable with long term commitments but miss out on the fruits of change. Those who find a balance of both commitment and change; those who are curious and open and able to recognize when each best serves them, may find that they are slightly uncomfortable with both because they are not wholly focused on one or another. Living in the balance may mean more uncertainty, but bears more fruit.
It reminds me of the 'jack of all trades' bit. My dad and I once talked at length about the first half of this saying when I was younger...maybe middle school? or high school? I don't remember when, but I do remember driving in the car and discussing the positives and negatives of being a jack of all trades. I have always seen myself as a jack of all trades, but it came with a degree of insecurity. At the time we only referenced the first half of the quote "jack of all trades, master of none". It left me feeling like I never really succeeded at anything, but it also felt like a core part of who I was, and still am, and I was confident enough to know I wasn’t inherently a failure. I was exceedingly curious. I love to learn new things. How could I limit myself to mastering just one?! We both agreed it felt unfinished. Being a jack of all trades had its pros and cons just like being a master of one did.
It wasn't until many years later, living in LA, that I learned the second half of the saying: "Jack of all trades, master of none, is oftentimes better than a master of one."
There is a sense of safety and certainty in being a master of one. But I think there is a greater depth of clarity that comes with being a jack of all trades. Open, observant, and curious. Is the wind blowing to test my resolve? Should I stay put and see this through? Or is it letting me know it's time for a change?
Sure, questions lead to more questions and at some point we have to make a decision and take action. But certainty without question quickly turns into the blind leading the blind. We need more information, and more information rarely presents itself, or rather, is rarely recognized by those who are certain.
So how do you respond to change? Do you resist it? Do you accept it? Do you seek it? How do you find balance?
When the wind blows, before you automatically resist, or go with, pause and ask questions. Then take action. Then reflect, and see what you learned. Or in other words, look both ways before you fuck around and find out.