Fear is an inherently uncomfortable emotion—and for good reason. Discomfort grabs our attention. It pushes us to adapt, grow, and make changes. Fear arises when our nervous system perceives a potential threat, urging us to reconsider our path.
However, it’s up to us to determine, develop, and deploy our response to fear.
The Weight of Fear and the Urge to Share It
Like any heavy burden, fear often feels easier to bear when shared. Think about moving a heavy couch—two people lifting it together is far more manageable than one person struggling alone. The more people involved, the lighter the load. With enough hands, even a massive couch can be lifted with just a single finger from each participant.
But fear doesn’t work the same way.
If we’re not intentional in how we share our fears, we risk creating an additional burden for others rather than alleviating our own. Instead of lightening the load, we multiply it.
Why We Don’t Need to Pass Along Fear
Imagine this:
You’re talking to a friend, and they share an exciting challenge they’ve chosen to take on. The moment you hear about it, fear creeps in, and you respond:
"That sounds dangerous. I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Things could go wrong."
Your concern is genuine—you care about your friend and don’t want them to get hurt. But in trying to unburden yourself by voicing your fears, you’ve inadvertently passed that burden onto them. Now, instead of one person carrying fear, both of you are weighed down by it.
How to Navigate Fear Without Spreading It
The solution? Curiosity.
Consider a different approach:
Your friend shares their challenge, and instead of reacting with fear, you ask:
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What inspired you to take this on?
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How have you prepared?
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What excites you most about this challenge?
By leading with curiosity, one of two things will happen:
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Your friend reflects on your questions and realizes they’re not fully prepared, prompting them to reassess their decision. In doing so, your fear is naturally relieved.
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Your friend confidently shares their inspiration, preparation, and vision, providing you with a clearer understanding of their decision. This context helps dissolve your fear, replacing it with confidence in their abilities.
Fear is natural, but how we handle it matters. Instead of spreading fear and amplifying its burden, we can choose curiosity. By asking thoughtful questions rather than reacting impulsively, we empower others—and ourselves—to navigate fear with clarity and confidence.