Throughout my wife Katrina’s pregnancy, every parent seemed to offer the same advice:
“Don’t blink! It goes by fast!”
Naive as I was, I rolled my eyes.
Sure, sure, sure. I’m a present person. I know how to pay attention.
Save the clichés for someone else, please and thank you.
And yet… we’re not even eight months into River’s flow, and I’m sitting here eating a bakery’s worth of humble pie.
Hot damn, it goes by fast.
River has gone from a quiet, perpetually sleeping, immobile little bean to a squawking, wide-eyed wiggle worm.
This girl oozes curiosity and is desperate to move on her own.
I’ve been equal parts nervous and excited for her to start crawling.
Nervous, because I can barely keep up with her demands for exploration as it is. River-forbid you sit down while holding this baby—she wants to see the world.
Excited, because I am absolutely loving the chance to support and coach her through this milestone.
My curiosity is on fire, wondering what I can teach her as she sets out to conquer this skill.
So I’ve taken it upon myself to coach Sweet River—with a focus on process over product.
As an eight-month-old, River lives entirely in the present. No concept of past. No clue about the future.
So communicating the value of a process? Tough. But not impossible.
Step one: safety.
A cushioned surface to practice. In the beginning, I pick her up when she faceplants, check in, comfort her.
You cannot build a new relationship with fear in an unsafe environment.
But here’s the twist—safety has little to do with comfort.
In fact, pushing into discomfort is essential if you're going to grow.
River’s crawling journey has given me a front-row seat to this dance.
First I offer safety. Then I push her out of her comfort zone.
The first time she gets onto all fours—BAM—faceplant.
Totally safe. Totally uncomfortable.
Cue the tears.
Cue the comfort of Daddy’s arms.
I hold her close, let her know she’s safe, and within moments she’s soothed… and ready to try again.
Back on all fours. Back onto her face.
But something shifts.
She’s still not happy about falling. But now, even though it’s uncomfortable, she feels safe.
This time, instead of crying in fear, she grunts in frustration.
She plants her hands. Pushes back up.
We’re on our way.
Now I bring in a little extra motivation.
River is obsessed with sunglasses (because, let’s be real—baby toys are mad boring),
so I set a pair of sunnies a few feet ahead of her, and I watch her go.
Here’s where process meets product.
River wants the product: sunglasses.
I want her to experience the process: commitment, perseverance, discovery.
If I were focused on product, I’d just hand her the sunglasses.
Instead, I use them to fuel her commitment.
To watch her persevere as she tries, fails, and tries again.
To witness her discover that she is capable of independent movement—something she’s never experienced before.
And yes—eventually, she gets the sunglasses.
But because we focused on the process, she gets so much more.
River crawls now. But more importantly,
River is learning that she can grow, fail forward, and that her dad will always show up to support her through it all.
If you’re curious about how to elevate your process and unlock your potential just like RIver, head to gobeyondprocess.com and schedule a free consultation call today.
I’ll teach you everything River’s been teaching me—and more.